We asked readers to channel their inner Carolyn Hax and answer this question. Some of the best responses are below.My wife is pregnant with our first child. Her parents are wealthy and religious; we are neither wealthy nor religious. Her parents started talking to us about our baby’s baptism, something they just assumed would be occurring soon after birth. When we explained we would not be baptizing our baby, they were shocked.
My first reaction is that this proposal is nuts, and they’re not going to buy a baptism. But is it right for me to turn down an amount of money that could do so much good for my child? What if my child can’t afford his first-choice school and curses the day we turned down his grandparents’ offer? My wife says dealing with her parents is too stressful and she wants me to decide.
There’s no harm in doing the baptism and taking the cash for the good of your child. The grandparents seem like they are of the “Get baptized or end up in hell” persuasion. Why not give them the comfort of believing your little one is heaven-bound?It’s no wonder you feel uneasy. Your child is not even born yet and the grandparents-to-be are already offering money to raise the baby as they see proper.If you accept, remember you are most likely opening a door of future requests. headtopics.com
If they focus instead on having a meaningful and loving relationship with their grandchild, who knows? Maybe the kid will enjoy going to church with them so much they will choose to be baptized at a later point. Maybe your in-laws will love the kid so much they’ll want to help with college anyway (assuming your kid even wants to go).Parenting is a hard enough road without selling out your principles before the job even starts.Take the money for the child.
Looking back on all the drama, I now see that we put too much meaning into what was simply a ritual. A fine college education trumps a ritual any day. Your child will never remember or even know a baptism occurred and will choose his/her own religious path anyhow.Every week, we ask readers to answer a question submitted to Carolyn Hax’s live chat or email. Read last week’s installment headtopics.com